I arrived early in the morning and passed through the Ganesha gate for the first time, feeling a gravitational pull toward an entrance on my right. I dropped my bags, which contained all my worldly goods, and entered the mandir through the wheelchair entrance at the edge of a walled seating ledge. Only one seat remained, second to last, between two ladies. The hall buzzed with people, but as soon as I sat down, everything went quiet. Then Satya Sai Baba appeared from behind the area I could not see. When He came into my sightline, the voice in my heart rang out as clearly as a bell: “Speak to the woman on your right.” I was shocked. I leaned over to whisper “Hello” to the lady beside me. She ignored me completely and kept facing SSB, who was standing on the mandir with both hands palms up, raising the energy of the crowd in Blessings. Frozen by the inner voice I had never felt with such force, I wondered, Could this be true? I was being given a direction, and nothing happened. Maybe I was having an auditory hallucination, I thought, tears streaming silently. Again, the voice at my heart center urged, “Stop crying. Speak to the woman now.” I turned to the woman on my right and spoke loudly and forcefully. “Excuse me,” I said, my breath likely reaching her cheek. She suddenly turned to face me, and to my surprise, indicated that she was deaf and mute. As a graduate of sign language interpreting, I surprised her by signing with her. I explained I had just arrived, and she smiled broadly, then happily joined the conversation and immediately shared everything I needed to know. Then she stated she had just had an interview with Him that morning. She described the process, pointing out the interview rooms. She told me she had no trouble understanding or communicating with Him and added, "He signed very well." Then she expressed her sadness; she was leaving after the darshan, which is why she was seated in the very last seat in the hall. I looked toward Satya Sai Baba, who was standing on the mandir looking toward us. I felt quiet inside the miracle I was experiencing. He was smiling like the proverbial cat that swallowed the canary, with a mischievous, enigmatic smile declaring His control and omnipresence, unmistakable to me. The layers of meaning and knowledge He revealed in that one moment were incalculable without time and pondering. Wonder and gratitude. His true essence had been revealed. And He was enjoying the wonder of what had just happened, or perhaps I was projecting… The odds were incalculable; there were so many deaf languages…. What was immediately clear in the symbolism of that 1st darshan was that SSB didn’t need an interpreter, as the deaf woman’s interview that morning proved a clear message of His “direct communication style,” proving it in a moment authentic to both, for confirmation, validation, or teaching in the naturalness of being, using one's education, whatever it may be, or simply the synchronicity of timing and conversation. I did need a nudge to speak to the woman, so maybe a small contrivance. It was the totality of the experience, a microcosm of the macrocosm. That was meaningful in its timing, impetus and elegance. It was about both giving and receiving in the same moment, thereby validating and equalizing everyone. That was the whole exchange. A divine conveyance in that first darshan in His ashram; I wasn't signing to Him; I didn’t need to; He knew everything about me. If I had a question or He wanted to convey something specific, He used sign language, but sparingly. I had to keep my eyes on Him alone. It was a one-way meditation on my inner thoughts and questions, which He sometimes answered with perfect sign language. His omnipresence was undeniable. I didn’t want to miss a chance for communication, so I also had to remain open to all the ways He communicated, in the naturalness of life, but not through the contrivance of channelling. I did not think I had “special” access; I just spoke a language He could silently convey. That was another paradox. He spoke to me in plain sight, only using a language no one could see. He was a sly Avatar. I have stories that illuminate that concept and the tragedies involved. Another important background to this first sight of the Avatar in His ashram that I contemplated deeply was my preliminary work with the deaf in South America in the early 80s, where perfectly normal deaf children were institutionalized in asylums because society had not advanced enough to understand that deafness does not mean mental problems. But mimicry learned was indeed a created disability from the original wound of abandonment. I was brought to Quito to help separate the deaf from other children abandoned for various disabilities. Later, I pondered the flip side, as He had brought the spirit of that work with me the moment I arrived at His feet. The visual language communication from SSB held profound significance, a truth that unfolded over time. But deeper symbolism and metaphor existed, revealed by my knowledge of the “Deaf” community's cultural beliefs about usury. That was another metaphor and symbolism of the use of sign language at our first sight. The layers of teaching and revealing I had to contemplate deeply and wholly the symbolism of His choice to communicate in that language at the outset. Much of “spirituality and the gifts of psychism or intuition” centred on this concept within a concept–especially in the realm of Satya Sai Baba organizations. Earning money for spiritual knowledge and creating groups or sects with a “cult of personality” running the show in the guise of charity exposed many hypocrisies if one looked behind the curtain of societal expression. The deaf, as a culture, were very in tune with this usury. It was common knowledge. Thereafter, I remained fully present in His presence, embracing silence and stillness, aware in waking life, dreams, and visions. I witnessed and stayed true to my path and perceptions, attributing it all to His grace, and rarely spoke of my inner world, and never revealed our sign language communication until the writing of this last pass of the Sankalpa. I wasn’t willing to have it ridiculed and diminished. I had nothing to prove, and I knew it would bring no peace to reveal it at that time. This was a specific way to address the world and the concept of deafness, which was more metaphorical than literal within the zeitgeist of Satya Sai Baba's culture. His use of sign language bridged worlds, pointing to the distinction between silence and deafness. Being mute is not the same as being silent, which is spiritual. A true conveyance, silent but outside my spiritual heart that communicated deeply to it. I always kept my eyes on Him and ignored anything around Him, enabling effortless understanding when I needed it. Sign Language is clear when one is familiar with its communication. All this began the very 1st time I arrived at His feet in India. When I exited the darshan hall, my bags were where I had left them. I walked toward the back of the ashram to find a room, as the deaf woman had guided me. A young child followed me, urging me to buy a photograph and handing me one. As I held the photograph, a spontaneous reaction to the intense pain in my body, accumulated over the years, immediately shifted to peace in every fibre of my being. It was a miracle reprieve from the persistent pain of feeling everything since surviving that true death experience I could never fully reveal. It’s perplexing that others who didn’t experience it could understand how debilitating it was. I paid for the photo and kept it until my heart guided me to give it away….Wishing I didn’t have to follow the heart’s guidance to release it. For more than 30 years, I remained silent, rarely speaking of my true experiences until now. Our shared sign language forged a profound connection unseen by the outside world. It was not a secret but a private matter. He often used it in my inner visions, His hands conveying messages. His use of mudras in that visionary world was on full display. That ancient Hand Language He was well-versed in. I even caught His communications with His Hands in photographs I received.